I’d say that Universal Music long ago abdicated its status as a “major” classical label, except that it never really was one in the first place, since it’s merely a corporate construct dressed up in nostalgia brands whose individual histories meant something to some people once upon a time.

So I was neither surprised to read about its forthcoming The Collector Series, nor surprised to learn that it consists of CD recordings clumsily recompiled into LPs. (Their target audience being the sort of “collectors” for whom recordings are mainly consumerist-identitarian paraphernalia.)

But even I was caught off guard by Universal’s lapse in taste here. I’m not sure which is worse: a Shostakovich LP issued in Bolshevik red vinyl (which may please the still fringe revisionist wing in Shostakovich studies who argues that the composer was more comfortable with the Soviet system than believed by the Western post-Testimony consensus) or that they chose to reissue the forgettable and fallible recordings of his piano concertos by Peter Jablonski. (The fact that these are digital recordings pressed on an analog format will matter little to people who will line up for it on Record Store Day to buy two copies — one to resell on Discogs, the other to play on their Crosley.)

Corporate blurb translated from the Japanese below:

From Decca comes a new concept in classical recordings aimed at new listeners. This series will focus on individual composers and their best-known works, presented in beautiful, expressionistic packaging with the goal of keeping the series running for years to come. Its accompanying artwork is luxurious, yet accessible and engaging to newer, younger listeners. Pressed on red vinyl.

At least it’ll look good in a man cave displayed next to some Shostakovich Funko Pops!.